Recently, I helped my bestie celebrate her *coughs* 25th birthday, and we definitely celebrated! You know you’ve had a good time when you wake up the next morning (or afternoon… or evening) wearing crusty eyeliner with a trash can in front of you. I didn’t need all of that, though, because seared in my memory was my greatest moment of glory. I got so excited that I fell on my ass in the middle of a crowd of strangers. If that isn’t loyalty and dedication, I can’t tell you what is! I really wanted my friendto know that I was down for her, so much so that I gave her a literal interpretation of the colloquialism. Captain BFF to the rescue!

That’s only half true, so here’s the story.

After overindulging in our favorite libations, many of which we didn’t pay for, we decided to dance (a.k.a. stand in a circle and awkwardly move our bodies to a beat that only we heard). Now, I feel the need to explain some things. First, I’m not the token drunk friend: ever. As a matter of fact, I’m the friend who gives the other friends the “don’t get drunk & embarrass me” speech before the debauchery begins. Also, if I do get too drunk when I’m in public, I quietly excuse myself before my self-respect and margaritas hit the floor. So, my friends, when I found myself unintentionally sitting in the middle of the dance floor, I knew something was wrong.

I didn’t get too drunk and just fall; I had on shoes which failed to properly grip the floor. If your B.S. meter just went off, I can’t blame you. If I was hearing this story, I’d think the same thing. However, it’s the truth! I was completely caught off guard, because there was no moment of revelation; you know, that split second when you fortuitously see what’s gonna happen without being able to stop it. Hell. No. In one moment, I was “dancing” with my friends, then one faulty step later, I was looking up at everyone! No slow motion fall, either. I smacked the floor much like a babylearning to walk. Definitely not as cute & apologetic as a little kid, though.

It gets worse.

I’m on the brink of tears, and all I need is a helping hand to reassure me that everything’s ok. And where do you think my friends were? On the other side of the room! Talk about awkward… I look up, and the assistance extended to me comes from the guy who wanted to get my friend’s number before I ruined his game plan. Once I located those Benedicts, they offered consolation through sincere attempts to stifle the laughter erupting inside them. My sweet friends! LOL

All that said, I don’t really know what to offer as a solution to this situation. I spent the rest of the night sitting on the sideline, crying and begging for the keys. So when this happens to you, let me know what you come up with.